


the tatters of our maybe

by mjonesing (klassmartin)



Series: our maybe [1]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, I LIVE FOR IT, Minor pining, Ned and MJ are step-siblings, Secret Relationship, Sharing a Bed, kind of?, prompted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26003047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klassmartin/pseuds/mjonesing
Summary: In the time Before, she was perfectly fine with her quiet little life; she loved books and learning and her mom. It was all she needed.But then her mum married Mr Leeds and suddenly Michelle has four new siblings and had to transfer to a new school.So her life isn't quiet anymore; so what? She thought she could still focus on loving books and learning and her mom.Except it’s been nearly a year now, and it turns out she likes her brothers. Especially Ned, who gets her in a way no one has ever bothered to attempt before.Then she meets his best friend.
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Series: our maybe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1911313
Comments: 35
Kudos: 95





	the tatters of our maybe

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the prompts: “we’re not just friends and you fucking know it.” & “I can’t sleep when you’re not beside me” from Anon on Tumblr.
> 
> I’ve been wanting to write this for months but been too busy with bigger works, and then I saw these prompts and... Oops? I’m addicted To this plot now.

Perhaps it’s the taboo of it all; a forbidden act that could fracture this tentative family they’ve been trying to form.

Maybe it’s the thrill of sneaking around; hands brushing in the hallway, glances across the table at dinner, the creaking floorboard he always forgets to step over. 

They crossed a line that night. Now she doesn’t know how to stop.

The front door opens to a quiet house. Michelle immediately pauses. Ever since they moved in, the cacophony of noise that comes with four new step-brothers always threatens to overwhelm her. The silence is unusual, especially for a Saturday night.

“MJ! We’re in here!”

Unwrapping the scarf from her neck, she pads through the living room to the den at the back of the house. Ned nods her way without ever looking away from the screen. 

“Where is everyone?”

“Dad took them to a game. Your Mom said to tell you she left dinner in the fridge.”

“I already ate.” Michelle clambers over his back, making sure to knock his head with her elbow. Ned isn’t even phased anymore, too used to her still-developing sisterly tendencies, so she falls into a pile of bean bags. They shift beneath her as she snatches some popcorn from the dregs left in the bowl. 

Michelle glances between them, already bored from her work at the library and feeling a little mischievous.

She pokes Peter under his ribs with her toe when he doesn’t acknowledge her presence, tongue poking out of his lips in concentration. He grunts and she scowls, poking him harder until -

“Damnit, MJ!” Peter groans as Ned whoops for joy. He throws the controller to one side with a huff. “I almost had him.”

“Just accept it; you can’t beat me. I’m a God!”

“You’re average at best.” She holds out her hand in Peter’s direction with an affected sigh. “Gimme. I’ll show you how it’s done.”

Rolling his eyes, Peter slaps the controller into her waiting palm. His touch lingers a second too long. 

Her heart pounds against her rib cage. It’s the first time he’s made eye contact and it makes her stomach do that horrible thing she can’t ignore. 

He retracts his hand with a gentle flush of his cheeks. 

“Alright sis, lets do this!” Ned says from the other side of her, oblivious to the moment that’s just passed between his best friend and Michelle.

It takes three minutes. 

“Ha! You suck.” Peter throws popcorn at Ned’s pouting face.

“I don’t get it; I’ve been practising!”

“Have you? _Lame_. I don’t need practise to beat you.” Michelle brushes invisible lint from her shoulder. “You know what you gotta do.”

“No, please.”

“Say it.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Say it or the punishment will be painful.”

“More painful than having to say it?” Ned groans, rolling onto his back and staring pointedly up at the ceiling. Monotonously, he recites, “You are the queen of everything. I am but your humble servant.”

“There it is.” She relaxes back into her seat with her hands behind her head, smirking victoriously. “Now go fetch me dinner.”

“But you said you already -“

“Are you refusing?” She raises a threatening eyebrow. “Do I need to enact the forfeit clause?”

Ned’s eyes widen in fear and he scrambles from his perch, almost tripping over his feet as he runs to the kitchen. 

Michelle laughs with enough gusto that he flips her off as he disappears from sight. 

“Hey.” Peter’s hand is warm on her knee, his tone softer now they’re alone. “You okay? You look tired.”

“Just a long day.” She glances to the door, lowering her voice. “Are you staying over tonight?”

Peter’s expression darkens with something she doesn’t want to identify. “Do you want me to?”

She bites her lip, let’s her arm drift a little closer to his. “You know the answer to that.”

His hand moves at lightning speed to grasp her own, tangling their fingers. She loses her breath. She always does when he touches her. 

“You know, this doesn’t have to be -“

“Stop. Don’t say that.”

“Why not? We don’t have to keep -“

“You _know_ why.” She extracts her hand and tucks it under her thigh. The hurt that flashes across his face breaks her heart.

“He wouldn’t care, you know.” He still shifts away from her, scratching at the sauce stain on a cushion left behind by her youngest step-brother. “I’ve known him nearly my whole life. I know he’d be okay with it.”

But isn’t that the exact issue?

It _would_ be okay. Until it wasn’t. 

She never used to be this scared of what-ifs. In the time Before, she was perfectly fine with her quiet little life; she loved books and learning and her mom. It was all she needed. 

But then her mum married Mr Leeds and suddenly Michelle has four new siblings and had to transfer to a new school.

So her life isn't quiet anymore; so what? She thought she could still focus on loving books and learning and her mom.

Except it’s been nearly a year now, and it turns out she _likes_ her brothers. Especially Ned, who gets her in a way no one has ever bothered to attempt before. 

Then she meets his best friend. She becomes friends with him, too. Her life has increased in size but it’s also painfully obvious that she was never happy in the time Before. She was just coasting.

She has _people_ now. She doesn’t have to be alone. 

This thing between her and Peter? It threatens it all. 

“Why are you pushing for this?” she asks instead, feeling the fear start to shut her down. “Can’t you be happy with the way we are now?”

“And what _is_ that, exactly?” His voice is low and quivers with something suppressed.

“We’re - We’re _friends_ -“

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.” His eyes ablaze with fury send her reeling, but she manages to stop herself short of flinching. He’s three steps out of the door before she can scramble for any kind of response, left in the tatters of their maybe. 

The back door slams. Ned doesn’t return with her dinner.

* * *

Michelle doesn’t sleep for a week. Every time she closes her eyes, all she can see is the way Peter had looked at her that evening. 

That night, months ago now, she had no idea what the consequences would be. A house to themselves with cheap alcohol from their older brother; a sneaky way for three stressed out seniors to relax after weeks of non-stop work. 

MIchelle had painted every toenail she could get to stay still long enough while Ned made them stir-fry as a late night dinner. They’d played video games and board games and drinking games; every game their increasingly foggy brains could think of, until Ned had passed out in the first ten minutes of the movie. 

It was the first time they’d been alone. What were two drunk seventeen year old’s to do?

A childish round of Truth or Dare that became more risky with every minute, until she’d asked him to confess his best kept secret, and suddenly the humour vanished and all the air left the bubble they were locked in.

He didn’t say it. He didn’t have to. 

She doesn’t know how they ended up in her room. Only that he’d stumbled and she’d smiled and they’d ended up horizontal on her mattress with his hands heating up her skin as they slid over her back, skimming the waistband of her shorts. 

“Not yet,” she’d whispered into the darkness. Peter had just tugged her closer until their noses brushed. 

“MJ…”

“Not yet.” She’d gently removed his hand from under her shirt only to link it with her own. “Not like this.”

His lips had brushed the back of her hand before he relinquished his grip, and they’d talked about Monday’s Physics quiz until they fell asleep. 

She woke up pressed against his chest, and somehow, that became a habit she couldn’t kick.

He’d leave his Aunt’s to spend the weekend while she worked the night shift; they’d waste the evening doing any range of teenager things until she’d excuse herself to bed. Peter would wait until Ned fell asleep, and then creep across the hall to her room where she waited for him.

His best kept secret had led to _their_ best kept secret, something building and growing and changing as they slept in each other’s arms. 

It’s only gotten worse in the months since, the stolen nights in her room making him braver and her more tightly wound. 

She’d thought the breaking point would be giving in to whatever crackled between them. Instead, she’s done the one thing she was always so terrified of; she’s destroyed everything she’s always wanted. 

Saturday rolls around again just in time for her to ignore all responsibilities and sulk in bed. Her youngest siblings are away for a tournament so it’s just Ned and her mom at home, though she’s pretty sure Ned has been warned to stay away for his own personal safety. 

She drifts in and out of a restless sleep, curled around her pillow like it’s her only life line. A few hours ago she’d watched the sunset through the space between her blinds. She’s been debating the risk versus reward of a quick trip to the kitchen for at least twenty minutes. 

The house is silent, the soft steps of her mother going to bed the only noise she’s heard since nightfall. 

Michelle slips out of her bed, wrapping herself in her biggest hoodie, ready for her secret mission to acquire snacks. 

There’s a creak from outside. She freezes, hope blooming in her gut despite the week of dark thoughts. 

The dim light from the hallway leaks through the opening door. A figure stares back at her.

“Hey,” Peter whispers. 

She blinks against the darkness as he closes the door behind him. “You’re here?”

“It’s a Saturday. Of course I’m here.” 

Her exhale is shaky at best. He loiters by the door, eyes flickering everywhere around the room except at her. 

It’s been a week but it feels like years. Damn she’s missed him. 

“MJ, I -“

She’s across the room with a speed that’s supernatural, arms flung around his neck as she holds him tight. His grip across her back is firm as his breath washes over her ear. 

It’s the first time she’s felt like herself since he walked away. 

“I missed you, too,” he mumbles. She can feel his smile against her skin. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left like that.”

“I shouldn’t have let you.” Her fingers card through his hair. It smells freshly washed and like her favourite conditioner. “This week has been awful without you guys to poke fun of.”

“Ned’s been miserable, and I… Fuck, I’ve been a mess, MJ.” Peter withdraws just enough to cup her cheek, thumb brushing underneath her puffy eyes. “You don’t look so great yourself.”

“I can’t sleep when you’re not beside me,” she admits with a sigh, leaning into his touch. “I’ve gotten too used to you sneaking in and out every weekend.”

His smile only grows, something she’s suddenly acutely aware is one of the most important things to her. Even in the midnight shadows, she can see how he lights up when she takes his hand in hers.

She sees it now; this isn’t just a dangerous flirtation between friends or a nuclear bomb waiting to rip apart her world; the way he makes her feel is good and right and _real_ , and from the look of it, she’s not the only one.

Perhaps they don’t have to end badly. Perhaps they won't end at all. 

Peter steps closer until his chest is pressed against hers, head tilted like he’s listening to her erratic heartbeat, or uncovering the thinly veiled truths from her confession. “That doesn’t sound like ’just friends’ to me.”

“I know.” Her eyes catch on his mouth. “Maybe it’s because we’re more.”

His answering smile is blinding. She’s overcome with the desire to taste it.

They both lean in. 

He kisses her. She kisses him. Sparks fly. 

His lips are sure in their slant across hers, something electric tinged with desperation and joy and _finally._ His touch on her waist is reverential and she can’t help the gasp that slips into his mouth as her back meets the wall, tugging him as close as she can manage while she explores the firm muscles of his back. 

Peter’s sheer presence consumes her but his touch revives her so completely that she feels like she’s soaring above the moon. He lowers his grip to her thigh, widening her stance until every inch of their bodies are lined up perfectly. It does nothing to satiate her hunger for him; she just sighs as his fingers slip beneath her hoodie to trail over the ridges of her ribs.

They part for just a moment, enough to yank his shirt over his head for better access. Her nails claw against his biceps as he mouths a trail from her throat to her lips. It’s all she can do to hold on tight and enjoy the ride. 

“MJ,” he pants into her mouth as she moves against him. “Maybe we should -“

“Don’t stop. Please.” She kisses him desperately, fingers in his hair. “I’ve wanted this for so long and - and you have too, right? Let’s not waste any more time.”

He groans, falling into her neck just to hear her say his name. 

It’s so good, she doesn’t hear the click of the door opening. She doesn’t hear the choked gasp, or see the bedroom light flicker to life. 

She _does_ hear Ned scream, “What the _f-_ “

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know in the comments how intrigued you are by sibling!Ned&MJ because honestly I’m living for it.
> 
> @mjonesing on Tumblr as always! I’ll probably be accepting a few more prompts if there’s something you’re interested in (it might take me a while but I will get around to it.)


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